Putting It Out There
Lately, I have been walking in circles.
Striving to settle myself down to write that next chapter, or make bolder authentic moves on the paintings that hover all around me in my studio.
So many stops and starts.
I’m unsettled.
Unsettled in the new world we live in. Unsettled in my soul.
I have been at this creative life long enough to know once I’m in the fold of my creative mind, I feel safe.
Safe to wander in the outer recesses of my right brain. Safe to lose myself to what is asking to come out, even if I don’t know what it is in my logical brain.
When I am unsettled, I know I become hyper-vigilant to the rational. As if somewhere in there is where I will find the right answers.
This left brain of mine can easily spin into a vortex- out of control. It won’t let me out of the box. It can easily keep me from asking alternatives to the unknown mystery of life. The place where I live my best self.
But, I easily forget. It’s as if a certain amnesia takes over.
There is a fine line between discipline and passion.
The discipline to just pick up the brush when I don’t feel the “it“ of creativity.
Or the discipline to just write down words on a page when I find myself spinning in circles.
I have a colleague who calls it the artist’s dance.
We set out with all good intentions to make it to the art studio and, as if we are possessed from some outer source, we suddenly find ourselves cleaning out our refrigerators instead.
So what to do when the passion is just not there, when you find yourself hitting up against a wall, in a dreaded plateau?
I’m reminded here of a quote by Clarissa Pinkola Estes in her book, Women Who Run with the Wolves:
"Just pick up the brush, even if you are turning out the same endless painting day in and day out, it will change.”
When we want to make our best work, we have to proceed forward… anyway.
Proceed, even when we have no clue what we are creating….
I feel strength of self lies in knowing when a situation offers it all it can, for the time being.
Creativity works the same way.
When we don’t know, we can go to the little details of a painting or even a life.
We can use our left brains not to figure out the big bold moves of creative passion, but use it as a waiting station.
We can prepare surfaces, or finish surfaces.
Then we wait.
Not my strongest attribute, this waiting game.
But, nonetheless, like Alex Grey says in his book, The Mission of Art:
“No conceptual system will ever adequately explain or predict the ineffable nature of spirit, or the creation of artists.”
Artists tolerate a lot of ambiguity in order to be open to the creative spirit..
What do you all do when you find yourselves in the bounce of the left brain box?
I would like to know your thoughts. Write to me below.
Thanks for reading,
Your support is greatly appreciated!