The Creative Artist & Sensory Overload
Lauren Mantecon, The Other Way, 2021, Oil on Panel, 18x16
View more works: LaurenMantecon.com
“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.”
– Aristotle
Last weekend I went to my first large event in over- well I can’t really remember the last time I subjected myself to a large event.
It was a beautiful 4th of July day concert in the the open air, a light breeze with dappling light glimmering the top edges of the cottonwood trees. They swayed as if to say, “Hello,” and “Welcome.”
It was packed. At the beginning, I was almost giddy to be out and about again- since a long drawn out pandemic.
But this was short lived.
On the outside the mood seemed cheery. On my insides I began to feel claustrophobic and irritated. Even the normal festive sounds, people laughing, children screeching in delight- made me freeze up in what quickly became a sense of anxiety, fear- then total panic.
It took a good hour to realize just what was happening to me. Later, after an early escape before the main event took the stage, I wondered how many other people “out there” were also experiencing internal adverse reactions… Sensory Overloads.
The next day, after the total exhaustion subsided, I began to reckon with and search my internal reactions. Admit to myself, It’s my normal to avoid big crowds and gatherings. I had just forgotten. I was swept in the moment of freedom from lock-down isolation.
As creatives I am sure there is a large majority of you all nodding your head now “Yep. That’s me.”
There are clinical terms for this sort of thing: Sensory Arousal, known as HSPs or Highly Sensitive Persons. HSPs are those thought to have an increased or deeper central nervous system, sensitivity to physical, emotional, or social stimuli.
As an HSP, you are more aware of your surroundings than others. You process information deeply. While this can be beautiful in many ways- helping you be creative, insightful and empathetic- it can also be exhausting.
Pulitzer Prize–winning writer, Pearl S. Buck says,
“The truly creative mind in any
field is no more than this:
A human creature born
abnormally, inhumanly sensitive.”
Pearl explains that for an HSP, “The world may appear to be more colorful, dramatic, tragic, and beautiful. Sensitive people often pick up on the little things in the environment that others miss, seeing patterns where others see randomness, and finding meaning and metaphor in the minutiae of everyday life.”
While highly sensitive people are sometimes negatively described as being “too sensitive," a term I have never understood, I have always corrected people saying, “There is no such thing as being too sensitive.”
It’s a trait that brings strengths and challenges, and creatives closer to touching our audiences with deep emotional resonance.
My personal coping mechanisms might just be why I became a painter. I have the luxury of being alone in my creative thoughts with the work I make.
My remedy for wanting to be with others: teaching. I can control my environment there. I get to live out the space between.
There are many artists we can track that have turned their limitations into strengths.
Painter Frida Kahlo suffered many challenges and physical tragedies in her life from the outside world, which resulted in what could be defined as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and outright Depression.
Her paintings were nothing short of riveting, striking a potent response from her audiences.
She is known to have said,
“I’m not a surrealist painter, painting fantasy AND dreams
from the outside world;
I paint my own psychic pain”.
Another artist who swung away from social interaction and escaped into the recesses of his creative mind- Vincent Van Gogh.
He admitted,
“I put my heart and my soul
into my work, and lost my
mind in the process.”
Many of you out there might be familiar with Norwegian painter and printmaker, Edvard Munch, who painted intense psychological themes based in 19th-century symbolism. He is famous for his painting “The Scream,” thought to represent human anxiety in the modern world, which Munch experienced throughout his life.
Yet, “The Scream” is a highly personal rendition of him experiencing a panic attack in the moment.
He later wrote the painting came to him when out for a walk,
“…the sun was setting - suddenly the sky turned blood red… I stood there trembling with anxiety- and I sensed an infinite scream passing through nature.”
If highly sensitive, we can often experience a disconnect between our inner selves and our outer worlds; often creating is the only way to bridge the gap between the two.
For me I get to experience and place imaginary locators in time, where my body ends and space begins.
To all you sensitives out there, I would love to hear your thoughts in the comment section:
What do you do to bring your challenges into beautiful positive strengths?
Thanks for reading, Lauren
Thank you for
your support!